I have an overactive mind. I’ll get an idea in my head and go over it again and again for days and weeks, sometimes months and years. But when I take an idea and turn it into a blog post, something special happens. Writing it down and putting it out there frees me from it. It’s no longer stuck in my brain, and this opens up mental space for new ideas to explore. So the circle continues.
For the past year and a half I’ve published posts about things that interest me. That’s the thread. The posts themselves are all over the place, ranging from burritos and business to Iceland and overwhelming feelings, but what connects them is me. These are the things I think about.
I’ve always felt that I have something to say that’s worth sharing. I’ve also kept so much bottled up in my life. Through this blog I’m trying to let go, to express who I am and how I see the world. Over time I’m hoping this blog will also help me make connections with more people who are interested in the same things I am.
As of now I have no readership to speak of besides my wife Julie and a few friends, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that articulating my thoughts and feelings clears my mind. And then when I share them on this blog I feel more connected to the world. That’s an important part of it. The act of publishing the posts and putting them out there for all to see transforms and intensifies the writing experience.
When I sit down to write the first draft of a post, it never comes out nearly as good as I’d pictured in my mind. The basic idea is there, but it’s incomplete and doesn’t read well. There are big holes in it, holes that I hadn't noticed when it was just swirling around in my head. But once it’s written down in black and white I get to see it from a big picture point of view. And then I work at it, slowly chipping away until the idea starts to flow and make sense. That’s the formula for my blogging. I start with an idea that interests me, write it down, and then I keep refining it until I finally capture in words what I’d been thinking all along.
This process fascinates me. It allows me to see how good my ideas really are. I thought a few of them would make killer blog posts that would inspire and delight lots of people and be freely shared on social media. I figured they’d go viral and my web traffic would spike and I’d start getting calls to do speaking engagements. But then the posts didn’t rise nearly as far as I thought they would. Of course, I’ve never shared any of my posts on social media. I’m not even on social media for that matter. I’ve also never emailed any of the posts to the handful of people who’ve joined my blog mailing list. So I guess I’m not doing much at all to get the word out and help my ideas spread, but that’s another story.
I’ve always felt so vulnerable when I open up about myself. Last year I remember feeling overcome with shame and embarrassment when I published a few posts about topics that are sensitive to me. But I’ve found that once a post is out there I’m more confident sharing my thoughts and feelings about it. Some posts have even opened the door to conversations with friends and loved ones about things I’d never felt comfortable talking about before.
Blogging has made me realize how incredibly good some writers are. I read a lot, and now I regularly encounter some of the same ideas I’ve explored in my blog, but written with much more depth and clarity and poetry. I just read Sapiens by Yuval Harari. Every page is filled with profound insights about the human condition beautifully expressed. It blew me away. It also helped me to understand that most if not all of my ideas don’t reveal essential truths that are capable of captivating humanity. Nor are most if not all of my ideas unique to me. That’s okay. It takes the pressure off and let’s me focus on just communicating my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve made a commitment to myself to publish one blog post every month, and it takes me most of the month to get each post as good as I think it needs to be in order to put it out there. Some posts end up saying exactly what I want them to say, and they’re written in my voice. Other posts never get that far, but I publish them anyway. This has gotten me more comfortable sharing ideas that aren’t fully formed, and I’ve discovered that this is an important part of the process because some ideas really do take months or years to develop. Putting them out there as they evolve allows me to advance an idea, to take it as far as I can right now. Then I can revisit it in the future and take it farther if my mind goes back to it.
Most months it’s a bit of a struggle to write. It can be difficult and frustrating to shape ideas and express them in a way that I’m comfortable sharing. But then every time I finish a blog post my mind eases as another one of my ideas is released into the world, and that’s why I’m writing a blog.