I dream of a better world.
Not a world that’s simply an improved version of what we have today, but one that’s continually improving and learning from its mistakes.
This is a big dream. It’s also a common one. Humanity has been dreaming of this better world since the beginning of time.
But we’re not there yet. I’m not even convinced that we’ve made a lot of progress in the four million years we’ve been on the planet. We certainly have new and better technology, which is nice, but we also still hurt one another all the time, and I just can’t understand why we keep doing that.
Becoming this better world will take all of us, each and every one of us, working together. It’ll demand that we’re kind, generous and just everyday to everyone, not only when it’s convenient. And we’ll need to always give others (and ourselves) the benefit of the doubt too because we all face so many challenges.
This year I’m hoping for something simpler though, more fundamental. As much as I’d love all people, myself included, to always be the best and most generous version of themselves, what I want even more is for everyone to stop being mean and constantly pointing out what’s wrong with the world.
I’m exhausted by the daily calls to recognize how broken and terrible everything is. I just don’t believe it. Everything that’s needed to make the world a beautiful and harmonious place is here. In fact, all the energy and matter that exists now is the same that’s existed since the universe was born. Nothing is created or destroyed, it just changes form. If we’re dissatisfied with the world today then we’re dissatisfied with its current form. That’s something we can change, and it’s better to work on changing it than to just keep getting angry.
On one hand the world is what it is. We only have so much control over our lives, and the reality is that it’s not as much as we think, even though we try to tell ourselves otherwise.
On the other hand we all have a tremendous opportunity on a daily basis to shape our little corner of the universe, our relationships, the way we spend our time.
We’re owed nothing in this life. That’s just the reality, unfortunate or not. But love is too strong a force. We deserve love, at least from ourselves, for surviving, for doing our best, for giving more than we take in the grand scheme.
So let’s start there, with loving ourselves. But the real starting point is actually not being mean to ourselves. Let’s forgive our faults and mistakes from the past so that we can fully embrace the here and now and be the person we want to be.
I can be so hard on myself. Why? What’s the point? I’m a good person and I treat others with respect. The fact is I learned to be hard on myself. I learned that pushing myself is a good thing. I also learned the inverse, that not pushing myself is a bad thing. Bad is the wrong word here perhaps, but not really. As Americans we’re obsessed with success and self actualization. But the issue here is that true success is not based on achieving things or getting more of them. True success is being satisfied with what you have and who you are. You can be satisfied with nothing. You can also be dissatisfied while having everything in the world.
We can all be so hard on others too. Why? What’s the point? When did everyone become so good at throwing stones? When did it become acceptable to keep pointing out what’s wrong with someone else even when you don’t have your shit together? In other words, when did people start so clearly violating the golden rule and getting away with it?
Kids are mean to each other and so are adults. We’re mean online and in person. There’s so much, too much, meanness out there.
And yet I honestly feel that human beings are inherently good by nature. I don’t know why I’ve held on to this belief considering how much truly terrible stuff I’ve seen done by my fellow man, but I have. It’s ingrained in who I am. I fully believe it.
All the while humans continue to commit small and large acts against one another to insult or hurt or alienate or embarrass or shame them. It might make sense to us when we do this to our enemies, but what about our friends and family? Why do we hurt those closest to us?
We oftentimes hurt others as a response to being hurt by them. But we also hurt each other for no good reason. We might feel stress or shame and lash out. Why do we do this? I think a big part of it is we haven’t learned to accept ourselves for who we are. We treat our imperfections as faults instead of qualities that make us unique. We’re dissatisfied with who we are instead of satisfied. This is huge. We also fail to recognize how hard life is for all of us. If we did that we’d think twice before dumping on somebody else, especially if we haven’t checked in on how they’re doing first.
Even with our enemies we need to look at this more deeply, because in a very real way we’re all in this together. We all share the world and its resources. We share the air, the water, the earth. Even if we don’t like how other folks go about their business, we need to work together if we want peace and harmony because we all share the same Mother Earth.
So can we please start here this holiday season? That’s what I’m going to focus on. Let’s stop being mean to each other. Let’s say nice things or nothing at all. Not only will this make the world less toxic, but it will also make more space for the good stuff, like long walks, shared meals and laughter.
I love you all and I appreciate your friendship and support! Thank you for all you’ve done to help me build the life I have today. I am so grateful for my beautiful family, great friends and good health. Happy holidays everyone!