Everyone seems to be angry and complaining all the time. The political divide is insane. I’m so sick of people going off in overly simplistic ways, presenting false choices, suggesting that our problems will be solved if we kick the others out of office and put our own in charge.
This is not to say there aren’t huge problems that need to be wrestled with and fixed politically. Of course there are. There always will be too because nothing is perfect and the world is constantly changing, as are the people in it. We will never solve all of our problems because the world doesn’t work that way. Entropy reigns and to some extent we all need to embrace that fact as we do the hard work of providing for our families and making the world a better place.
To me the political madness is a smokescreen as it disguises even more fundamental issues and keeps us from talking about them. What I want is for us to turn our attention to what’s most important, and that means focusing on the root causes and deepest sources of our pain and frustration.
What are the real problems then, if not politics? What is the true source of what ails us? What should we focus our time and energy on if we want to contribute to healing the world in a way that brings us together?
The older I get the answer becomes both simpler and harder to understand: we need to talk more about the meaning of life.
I honestly have no idea what the meaning of life is, but the more we all think about it and talk about it, the more we discuss the human condition, the better we understand ourselves and our fellow human beings. This creates connection and a compassionate world view, and that’s so important.
We’re all going to die and so will everyone we love. Our hearts and bodies are fragile and easily broken, requiring us to constantly feed and care for ourselves and also sleep away one third of our precious time in the world just to have the strength to live the other two thirds.
We’re so consumed by getting through each day that we don’t talk about what we’re really doing here in this mind-blowingly vast universe. We’re living, we’re breathing, but we’re also suffering. Our minds are so easily seduced by marketers, profiteers and angry people. So much is out of our control. We hurt deeply inside, and this feeling of hurt is growing in the world at large.
Every day we work to put food on the table, to make the economy run, to educate the next generation, to heal people’s physical and mental wounds, to create art and entertainment. And then we get up and do it again the next day. There’s always more work to do. We love life, but we’re also exhausted and overwhelmed by it.
As much as I’m tired of the non-stop complaining, I want people to talk more about what really bothers them deep down. It’s healthy and therapeutic and I believe it brings people together and improves our collective lives. It’s also hard to do. It’s hard to be vulnerable, to open up our hearts, to let people see our inner wounds and broken dreams.
We should be talking about this more, we need to talk about this more, because in many ways our pain unites us. We all feel the heartache of being human. We also all want to lead lives that are meaningful and dignified. Helping others on this path helps all of us as helping others is meaningful, it’s probably the most meaningful thing that there is.
It’s much easier to blame the other side, to blame circumstance, and to go all in on our anger about it.
All I can do is speak from experience about my life and my truth, and the fact is I’ve always felt shame talking about how hard life is. Maybe I shouldn’t but I do.
I’m a sensitive guy. Sometimes I take things really hard. Sometimes I don’t, but when it comes to personal stuff I usually do. The only thing that really seems to help is talking about it, connecting with someone else in an open and honest way.
How can we encourage more of this? How can we make it easier for people to talk and others to listen about what it really means to be a human being? How can the talkers and the listeners both do their part to make the world more hospitable for this type of conversation?
It has to come from both sides of course.
For the listeners, we need to make it comfortable for others to share what they feel. We need to be present with them and honor their feelings and their pain. We need to give them time to understand and process what they’re going through. This can take months or years sometimes. We should never shame them or make fun as they are healing and learning and growing.
For the talkers, we need to talk about our pain in a way that’s respectful. We can’t drown out the pain of others, especially if it’s more extreme than ours right now. This is so important. Even if you’re feeling something intense and painful, it’s not fair to dump that on someone else who’s going through a tough time too. You can be there for each other, but it can’t be one sided.
We all suffer, all of us, poor and rich, short and tall, loved and unloved, all the colors of the rainbow.
The more we talk about our real pain, the more we come to terms with it and accept it for what it is. But what is it? It’s just part of what it means to be a human being. Every day we get hungry and we get tired. Every day we get older, we take a step closer to the grave, as do our friends and family. It’s sad and harsh but true.
We’re all in this life together and we will all have our hearts broken many times over. Let’s recognize this as we do our daily work and fight the good fight. In the end no one wins and no one loses, life just continues, change just happens, and our feelings ebb and flow.
Let’s please talk about what’s really going on. Let’s be generous with our hearts. And let’s be respectful of the suffering of our fellow human beings.